Divya R

What is it ? :( :x

2009-09-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

U knw what??

I have THIS feeling now!!

Its getting into me more than occasionally nowadays !

Kinda a combi of all these ~

Low.
Sad!
Lonely!!
Left out!
Dumped!
Tons of dreams!!!
Discomfort!!!!
An urge to cry..
Yearning for a hug!
Expecting to get a smile from someone...
Some strange noise.. following which is an immediate deep silence!
Unable to listen to someone talking to me!
Having deep thoughts bout something while doin some other important thing!
... Like I know nobody!!
Longing to talk.. talk my heart out.. but.. there's such NOBODY !
I dont belong HERE !!
Why are THEY here ?? What am i doing with them ?!!
I think i should Go!! .. should go there..but 'there' is nowhere! :(
Am all alone in a big crowd!
Am angry!
Some deep lump under the throat !
Am desperate!
I dont want this ! But I want THAT !

~..............................
But what the hell is this all about ??!!
I have no idea !!
Am not sure what i want too!
Some deep thoughts that i really dunno how to sort out!
Should i cry?
Will i regret it if i cry ?
Does crying really help? or does it worth spendin tears, wen thers nothing in particular ?!
Should i call up someone and try to talk ?
Which is better ? meet up in person and talk, or call up or virtual talks enough ??
But whom would i call? what would i say ?
Will talking to strangers help? or will parents or family help better ?
But what the hell is it ?
Why do i get to be like that ?

BUT.. its jus for a while..jus a phase... i get back to normal asap. I will better die rather than sulk :-P

Its weird to even go tell someone i have such feelings !
None might understand or atleast try to understand how it is !
Am not sure if am right in all these.
Or am i exaggerating stuff ?
Is this abnormal ?

Can u understand this ? How do u feel bout it ?

Dont u regret reading this ? :P

A FRIEND ONCE LOST IS LOST FOREVA ! :(

2009-09-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Not everyone gets along the same as another. Some ppl are meant to be close. It happens and it will happen.Trying to trace why we became friends with a person might not give a good answer.

Unconditional bondage, love without any inhibitions, trust,laughing!, freaking, a shoulder to cry on, a warm hug, and what not!!

FRIENDS !!

Out of all the good things that happened.. why does it all just getto be a PAST all of a sudden?! Y not have such good times forever ? Why do we lose a friend suddenly ?.. and one such FRIEND ONCE LOST, IS LOST FOREVA ! :(

Losing a friend, losing the friendship !ammean.. like.. Not the death of a friend.. but that of the friendship itself !

Once-so-close-friends... are Suddenly strangers..

Is that animosity so real .. or is it MY INTUITION ?

Aren't good things BETTER than the worse ? Wont my friends wanna cherish the good times we shared? , more than the tiny squabbles ??!!

I still remember having an icecream on the terrace on valentines day eve wid her !! Isn that the thing to be cherished rather than be reminded of the last petty issues and move away??!!

I donot remember the petty issues of why ultimately things got messed up. Wont it be the same LIkewise?..

There are 2 ways as how a friendship breaks !
The first, not-so-bad way.... TIME.. and ppl gettin busier in their own ways.. but the situation is equally the same as losing the friendship. We might not be as close as we use to be! But the better part is that, we still can get in touch without any hesitations!.. one call or jus a meet-up!.. we can have the good old happy times AT ONCE ! :-).. ... its jus that SITUATIONS drift them apart in life ! makes sense.. am convinced !
But the other thing.. Having a squabble and build on which losing a relationship !
First of all why leave each other just cos of a petty squabble ? after all, relationships aren't meant to be broken!
Does this sentence makes sense ? "We're better off not talkin to each other! " ??- Is that to be followed?
To be able to put up with EVEN THE WORST of one another is true relationship!

Mistakes are meant to be corrected!
Misunderstandings are meant to be clarified and eliminated!

I realised my mistakes!, At once, I was gifted a GOODBYE!

I heard things.. But NEVER LISTENED!
I argued a lot.. But NEVER dreamed i was losing someone because of that!
It was not that someone made things worse.. but it was that I chose to take it that way!
It was not that someone dumped me.. rather I let them go!
When i could remember the "goodbye" that hurt me, why don i cherish the best moments i had in my past?
I was a part of the squabble too! .. not that i was dumb and my friend was rude!
And am not sure if the ultimatum of such a squabble is losing the relationship! What about forgiving and forgetting?

or are friends meant to be dealt differently ?
I fight with my mom, misbehave, shout and there's more HELL of happenings! ... but we are still mom & daughter and co-exist! and the default love between us doesn get lessened even one bit!
Was it absurd to take friends that way too!!
Why had i always thought THEY were for lifetime ?!
Is it something like Over-confidence ?
I assumed things and messed up my life !
But am not sure either.. it was some default thought within myself..

I don judge ppl the same. I befriend or get close with ONLY a few.. and ALL of them .. I treasure as the best relationship for lifetime!

I was wrong!... maybe i shud have made sure my friend felt that way too! Instead i presumed something and messed up their life too, giving them unpleasant conversations and headaches!

But...With a few, the bondage is FELT and not or NEVER expressed..I basically fight a lot, my inquisitive nature made me argue for EVERYTHING ..

I've fought Like hell.. without realizing that they was special! Maybe I should have been expressive, the other way around! Should have told them how much i valued them!

Why the hell was I so sure it was obvious to them!!??

And I expect weird things !!
I try to make a conversation after the worst of fights.. and expect them to forget things and patch up and be like before! And for whatsoever reasons, I was very much able to do that myself, but not take the fact that it was better to stay away from each other!
For me, its like more than a BELIEF !
I totally trust that my friends like me and continue to like me for whatsoever I am !
How could I ??!!
HOSTILITY !! Is tat what I deserve after a squabble! or am I taking the situation to be tat way ?
I shud keep shut when someone doesnt want a conversation, isn?
Which is better ? Stayin away totally [when i feel sad bout it and not sure how my frend feels bout it] ? OR trying to patch up?

Why don I send a surprise mail or an sms to them ?.. well Lemme give it a try!

Lol.. But I cannot customize such things either.. like.. have conversations and get along with ppl and during the stage of becoming friends, ask them if they would like to be friends wimme and ... or have a discussion about how we might take the relationship ! Are protocols applicable here ?!

.. Its all what the heart says.. heart- ammean not the pumping organ but that which is reading this blog-post of mine and feeling something now!

I had thought that Some sweet-hearts are meant to be felt and not just call them tat way !

.........................................
To my friends whom i miss!! [many might not get to read this, some might not even be aware of my blog ] .. still..

There's some sudden loneliness kinda feeling that keeks within me.. now that I MISS U like hell.. and We arent in the least of talking terms or contacts as of now.

its like..

I lack the fire... its just the smoke around me now!
Am not able to smell the flower how much ever closer i take it !
The key that I have doesn't open up the damn Door !
My paint doesn't brush, My books don't read!! , ;-)
My chocolate isn't sweet!
My music has no lyrics!
My phone never rings!
I cry without tears and while am not crying i get tears!
I laugh but am not sure am happy either!
Thirsty..I want water! but there's nothing but a mirage here!
I prompt things, but lack a conversation!
I have this, but I want That !

and am outta word structures to add more to this !!

:-(
:-(
:-(

YAaRoo IvAr YaaRooO ! :( :(

2009-07-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

Yaaro Ivar Yaaro,
SHanthi Nilava vendum!,
Aaduvome pallu paaduvomae,
Theeradha vilaiyaatu pillai,
Vetri ettu thikku,
etc,..

Her Sweet Disposition and her humble nature Makes D.K. Pattammal, one of the best ever carnatic vocalist of the world.only until yesterday :( It makes me feel more than jus sad thinking she's no more :( :(

MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE.!!!!

PATTAMMAL - the name depicts it all !! :)
She was all pleasant !
Sweetness personified !
The very first brahmin woman singer who performed concerts ..during those days when women had no exposure!
Listening to her was an awesome delight !
She was the source of inspiration to many singers!
Her songs during the country's freedom struggle .. Immortal !!
Her grand- daughter Mrs. Nithyashree mahadevan had been my favourite and my inspiration.Its a double-delight to hear them sing togetha !! :)

I jus cant forget the day when i had met Late Mrs.Pattammal at a concert this year. WOW.. wat an unforgettable day it was !!

I had been to kalaivanar arangam, where the concerts "chennaiyil thiruvaiyaru " took place. I had been to a concert by Sikkil Gurucharan, one of my favourites ! ;-) ...and followed by that was another concert by Ms. Lavanya, who was none other than great-grandaughter of Mrs.D.K. Pattammal. :-) and Mrs. Nithyashree Mahadevan's neice. :-)

Four generations of carnatic musicians!
D.K.Pattammal, her son Mr.Shivakumar[mrudhangam ] , his daughter Mrs.Nithyashree Mahadevan[ whose mother was also a singer] and her neice Ms.Lavanya whose concert took place then.

Mrs.Pattammal had been there to watch her sing and bless her ! :-), Along with her husband ! :-)

The concert was a great show and towards the end of it, the four generation singers were on stage ! It was an awesome delight !How very sweeeeeet she spoke! I could really visualize wat shakespeare had described as "second childishness" !! Oh my god !! I wished i had her as my own grandma !! :( I can still feel my goose flesh i had that day ! I shall always cherish it :-) I still cant understand what was that, that made me so excited bout this ! ;-)

hmm.. I can still remember.. My fifth standard.. It was on the Republic day [1999 i gess ;-) ].. Fancy dress competition.. I was dressed up as Mrs. D.K.Pattammal ! :-D
..I can still remember.. I wore a .. rather i was wrapped in .. :-P a red pattu saree of my mom's.. :) .. and after saying a few words.. i sang ,

Aaduvomae pallu paaduvomae..
aanandha sudhandhiram , adaindhuvittom endru.. ! :-)

.. I had won the second prize in the competition. :-D.. I had one another prize that day for a lucky dip too :-D

........

My dad used to tell me bout her too. one thing in particular was wat his mom told him. i.e., My grandma who had been to a concert of M.S.Subbulakshmi, had seen Mrs.Pattammal too among the audience!. She was sooo humble .. used to go attend concerts of other singers and enjoy.. which is a rarity among the singers of this generation ! :)
Oh.. how sweeet of her !! :) :)

There were or there could be none like U :(

How very sweeeet U were .. !!! :(
All of us loved U !!
The world misses u:(
so do I :(
Shanthi nilava vendum ! :)

http://www.hummaa.com/music/artist/8750/D+K+Pattammal#

Things too good might turn out to be jus an ephemeral :(

2009-07-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Unique! Thats how i look at every individual. I donot judge everyone in a similar way. I admire and appreciate good deeds within one n all. And ive inferred that everyone is exactly NOT what they seem to be.Therefore there's a huge difference between every relationship and our experiences with every other individual we get acquainted with.

There had been -

HUMDRUMS : I sometimes even regret to have met such ppl ! I simply cannot have a boring conversation .I need things interesting !! ;-)

SILENCERS : - are meant to be fit in two wheelers n whatsoever other automobiles :-P . I need noise and i dont mind even nonsense :-D

HITLERS : I wish i find all such ppl n shoo 'em off to pluto. 'HITLERS'- ammean, Strict ppl, Male chauvenists and dominating fools :-D

BACKBITCHES : Ppl who prefer bitching behind my back can simply go to hell :-)

TATTERS : When there's a tit, they will gimme a tat !! :-( Couldn they be more kind to me ? :-P

EGOCENTRICS : Why should such a person even make frends ? :-P frendship or any relationship fomme is SHARING. Happiness, grief, anger, pain, love et al... is to offer, receive and all the more, share !

ADVICERS : Advices and me arent fond of each other. :-P Its absurd to give or take one. It might make no sense to the one who is suffering. As far as none can exactly feel others' pain, its better to refrain from advicing.

hmmmmmm... Ive disliked or felt uncomfy with even more such characters. But such acquaintances outnumber what actually I had preferred.. !!

Ive had great companions.. fun n frolic ppl.. caring and loving too !Have had great times togetha with a few.. but many such relationships never lasted. Once- so-close and best-frends are now-turned-strangers. Life moves on! :-)..... I've had regrets bout befriending a few, regrets bout feeling sad bout break-ups and at times .. even regrets bout regretting a few other things too !

BUT..........................................................

BUDDY !, [Am writing this being particular about one now, but seriously things below can be true for many more. This is for all such buddies whom i miss or have already missed :( ]

YOU WERE EXACTLY WHAT A FRIEND OUGHT TO BE FOMME !!
U WERE WISE, FUNNY, HUMOROUS, SENSIBLE, SWEEEEET,
YOU NEVER ADVICED,
YOU UNDERSTOOD WHAT I FELT BOUT THINGS,
I COULD SHARE ANYTHING WITH YOU,
U MADE ME FEEL COMFY !
U WER JUST WHAT A FRIEND OUGHT TO BE !!
U WER THE BEST and even better than the best !!!
Thanx a ton for jus being there.
Strange! - We never fought too.. !!
Am not sure if am even missing you too.
Even within a short span, U meant a lot ! Thanx a TON !!
But, its been more than a few days that we haven spoke.
Now things have turnd out to be jus an EPHEMERAL. :-(
HOPE WE SPEND TIME TOGETHA AGAIN !! :-(
AND AM NOT GONNA TELL THIS TO YOU TOO!
NONE IS TO KNOW WHO U R !! :-)
THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO You :-)
And You wil toplist my list of frends ive always wanted !!

BUDDY, If at all U getto read this or if u are reading this.. and if at all u make out it was written for U, do temme :-)

hahaha :-P

[ why am i even laughing.. this is supposed to be a lil sad n desperate post !!]

....... So ...i thereby infer.. things too good are just ephemerals :( :(

And i hope am proven to be wrong someday !!

E-X-P-E-C-T-A-T-I-O-N-S :|

2009-06-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

EXPECTATIONS !

First of all, Why is this word much often considered to be negative ? None really has to feel ashamed for expecting something ! Isn ? afterall, expectations are what keeps us going !

err yes.. this is MY blog, lemme get personal and reveal this " I EXPECT A LOT !! :D ... Dont expect me not to expect anything !! Expectations are what keeps ME going ! :-D

.. and I jus cant understand what could be wrong in it.. If my expectations are satisfied, am happy !, if not.. I might get disappointed. yet i will keep expecting things until am happy or satisfied. Maybe jus a try or a mere wish might make it true one fine day! :-) . But I would like to choose my expectations well too ... or rather something sensible and worthy ;-) and so I guess ther cant be anything wrong bout it. And I might give no clues bout whatsoever I expect too. For, my expectations might make no sense to others, or might be looked down by a few or ..for some reasons that i donot really know bout it myself.. And there had been times when i had realised that i had expected such things, only later on when i was disappointed :-P .

Disappoinments and I are used to each other. Sometimes, it even tries to dominate me. Have had it so many times so far. So what ?? Why not wait and get it some day or the other ? Ther's a change in EVERYTHING in life .. So does what I can expect .. and who knws, by the time I expect a new thing, the older one might be forgotten :-P. And am no Budhdha's disciple to live without wishes and expectations ;-) Only dreams, wishes and expectations makes the otherwise monotonous life interesting fomme! Or incase if my expectations tend to be something certainly impossible, I keep it for my dreams.. I have a really beautiful dream-life of my own.. where none can ever even peep in ;-) Where, all the instances are whatsoeve i expect ONLY !

If thers no expectations frm anyone..I dont think there might be any progress in any field.. A good film or a song or a book or be it anything!..it IS made very much ONLY to fulfil the audience's expectations. All of us expect things to be good. and.. expectations bout life patner, frends, car, and whatsoever be it ! all of us have dreams bout it and expect things for the same .Be it a diamond ring or a heavy rain or an unexpected holiday.. expectations are EXPECTAIONS !!

What could be one's personal expectations in life ,afterall ? Happiness? , peace?, frends?, love and affection? , dreams to be fulfilled?, to possess favourite things?. Yes. and more! .. and among these there are Certain things which isnt possible at all without someone else's contribution. For which we EXPECT them to .! Its DEFAULT in everyone's life ! isn ?.. am not the only person in the whole world doing it . and I don even go desperate for it ! or rather DEMAND it frm someone.. Its all within ME and ME alone ! And regarding some other things.. which am sure of obviously deserving it, isn jus expectations .. or might be some superlative of that , who knows :-D ... what objections can one have for this ? According to me, understanding one's expectations and not even trying to fulfil it, is like degrading myself. I atleast try my best to fulfil such things as far as possi. I strongly believe that happiness is something to share, give and take :-) And I even reject things which I donot like .. or which donot impress me , which is why exactly I realise that I have expected for something different ! or that I EXPECT a lot or even more :-P

Hmmm.. I guess ... Thats bout it.. am late for collg i gess.. and unable to think for a conclusion for this :-P

Good Isnt as good as it seems to be!

2009-06-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

The obvious priority between the good and the bad is the former.Everyone wants to possess good things, good ppl and whatsoever be it, to be good. But then that isn being just enough.. Being good in things isn enough.. It is sometimes expected to be Better.. or at times to be the BETTER THAN THE BEST :-P None really appreciates or is appreciated for JUST being good, in character, at works, exhibiting talents or whatsoever be it. People jus say, "U could have been better, U can do it better, U can sing Better, U can write better, .. i.e, CAN DO BETTER !! " .Why cant it be appreciated in the first place ???!!, wasn things good afterall. ??!! Moreover, GOOD itself is better than the BAD , isn?. And,Which is more worth ?? , Being the BEST in just one aspect or Being good at many things ? Isn an allrounder to be the better preference ? For, its really not all that easy to be good in many things altogether, isn? A good salary isn satisfying .. we need it bettter!. A good washing isn enough.. wash it better !! a good cooking isnt okay, make it more yummy !! expectations.. and EXPECTATIONS alone.. that too not within oneself.. but it is frm one person towards another !! And WHY on earth should WE work to be better in something jus because someone else said so ?? Its our life and decisions are to be frm within !! I think its time to be happy and satisfied to be GOOD !! that WE' RE GOOD !!! And... what is the BEST ultimately ??!! it depends on each and every other individual.. what is best fomme can be the worst for somebody else and similiarly, the vice versa!! So, does it make sense in making progress towards the betterment ? It should probably be with respect to oneself.. What I feel can be made better, i should go ahead and try for that.. nd not listen to anyone whoever can comment and say things or damn.. ADVICE :-P . A piece of advice is the worst thing that we can get from anyone. It can sometimes totally inapplicable to the person who lends their poor ears to listen to the damned thing :-P. And so can i remain to be just good if i chose to be so ??! And so One should be really proud to be GOOD isn?? The word GOOD has the word GOD within :-D . Those that are sold in the market are called GOODS .. not betters or the bests :-D {don get mad at me for this :-D } okay.. Thats bout it.. :-P. Be Good and Do Good Ppl :-P

It isnt what it looks like !

2009-06-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

yesterday morning i received a scrap (in orkut .. isnt it obvious?? :-P) frm a frend of mine... a skoolmate, asking if I remembered him. :-O .I replied to it at once, saying i really did :-P ... and the next one from him was that he had seen me on the road on saturday evening and had stopped his bike nearer and waved a "HI"to me .. but i had insulted him by not even looking his way.. :-( .. Damn.!! I never had even the least idea of what had happened ! . .... Then discussing bout it further.. the fact was that i was listening to music using my mobile.. i was using the mp3 which he assumed that i was speaking over fone with the headfones :P Am a big music freak... Whatever and wherever it can be,,.. the volume has to be the maximum.. thats what i always prefer :)... and this frend of mine isnt in much of a contact , nor were we such close frends in skool days too..He was our class monitor i gess.. thats how i always rememberd him :-P..And so i had not the least idea that he had waved to me.. but instead I appeared as though i was trying to avoid someone i knew.. I could only apologise to him, though i really donot think its a fault of mine :-)

When am on the road walking .. am lost in my own thoughts.. dreams.. talking to myself, talking to someone whom i really dunno exists... I've had intuitions, plans, remains of my past, and my own imaginations .. which none can ever understand or be explained :-P.. I feel as though the world has only me and maybe a few whom i consider :-P Even with my eyes open and being conscious bout the traffic around, am kinda absent ... maybe jus mentally or socially absent :-) I really donot knw if this is right or wrong or if it makes any sense thinking bout it .. but i really enjoy doing it.. not that i had planned to be like this or something that way, but Its kinda DEFAULT :-D ... I realise this myself only when such an incident has happened... err... And yes..ther has been times when Ive had conversations with ppl whenever ive had some acquaintances ..or have even stopped ppl at times to talk to.. But apart from this, sometimes i go aloof to ignore things and ppl around me... I really donot knw.. but badly wish to know how i appear to be while am doing this. :P

Also in the journey of life, I walk alone... lost in my own thoughts, asking so many questions to myself, thinking if i can redo the past , if i could have let things not be the way it is, Dream bout how i can have certain incidences.. or wish such incidences happen in my life.. sometimes i go completely aloof... like none means anything to me.. like i wonder who they are to me.. or why I am around those ppl... Ive ignored hundreds to a thousand ppl around me and have been lost in my own thoughts. I've also wished if someone atleast ONE .. has ever felt the way i do. .. or atleast get the point of how i feel.. and. .. If you lemme to be a bit more selfish, ... :-P I would also wish that the 'someone' take me in his hands to walk along... and even then i like the walk to be in silence :)..hmm lemme not make the description too romantic either.. :-P (. err.. i might reject empty heads and empty souls :X ).. Tats awrite.. i shall think bout it during my walk today :-) or maybe i wil end up being with just these thoughts for every other walk in the journey of my life :| Ne'er mind.. So be it :)

This is a personal listing B)

2009-06-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

This post is very much an idea through plagiarism :P ... remember readin such things in many blogs that ive read.. so i thot lemme give it a shot myself.. I might increase this list .. or maybe i would :P .. None of You can say anything bout this.. its all bout me entirely.. Jus read it :D , ThankU :)

1. I like sweets a lot [ let atleast the first one be a sweet info. :P ]

2. Music is my best pastime.. Violin is the best preferred nowadays ... feels so romantic ;)
3.I like to read.. when the stuff intrests me only! ive not read the second page if the first one isn preferred :P
4.I cant remain sad or keep thinking bout something for more than a day.. meanin.. i divert myself sooner than anyone else :D
5.I show less or no intrest in CRICKET :| ... thou i've always wondered why :-?
6. I use or rather i should say I really cant do without Smileys during virtual talk :) .. including a frownie :( , an angerie :x astonishie :O a coolie B) and etc acc to situations :)
7. I cant take empty heads :( , boring ppl and stupidities.. [ maybe am one of these at times myself :P ]
8. I react too fast :|
9. I am funny and fun-loving :)
10.Am too much candid B) .. prefer to say things straight to the face.. rather than hiding it or back-stabbing.
11.I like listening to ppl and doing consoling stuff.. ive got feedbacks that it was satisfactory :P
12. I have done things for the sake of others and had no regrets bout it.
13.Once my good opinion is lost, it is lost foreva :|
14. Nicholas sparks's novels are what i prefer a novel should be like !!! :) :)
15.Nowadays i wonder why am becoming so much beauty-conscious.. have found myself spending too much time in fronta the mirror.. :P
16. Ive had different opinions bout the same damn thing at different other times :P
17. I was always at least had little idea of what i wanted in life :)
18. I laugh really very loud :D
19. and I cry when none is around :(
20.I am missing someone whom am not even sure exists :P
21. I feel it hard to accept the fact that someone doesnt accept something that i had said or thought :|
22. Ive had weird eating habits... mixings things that ppl wouldn have done. :P last one such was dipping a piece of cake in a cup of coke :D
23.My curiosities never end.. :P until i find a vivid explanation for a query i don keep shut :P
24. I hate it when ppl delays in replying.. be it in gtalk or an sms :P
25. I hate falling sick :( :x
26. I prefer to make things interesting.. even while telling someone that am sad... i prefer narrating things interestingly :P [ and i expect the same :P]
27. I play my favorites.. the same song or the same movie so many times.. :D
28. I use kiddish way of talking.. and some other way of saying words :P
29. I admire good deeds in everyone.. have never hesitated to make an appreciation whenever have felt so.. be it anyone :)
30. I have always yearned to be accepted for what I really am :(
31. Though it feels good to be single.. there are times when ive wished i had someone special in my life ..[ have made the criteria too tough that it might take more time to find one i gess :( ]
32. I donot like boasting .. both me doing it or someone else doing so wimme :P
33. Ive had mixed feelings during many times and bout many things :P
34. I've strtd showing interest in fitness :)
35. Advices and me donot get along well :x
36.AM a CAFFEINE ADDICT of the highest order!!
37.I Love to HUG :-)

This is the start :)

2009-06-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

I've always wished that i too had a blog..during times when i read a bad one :P or when i had felt i cud write better.. or even when i had got jealous readin a really good post too :)

( yea.. I had one earlier.. and then deleted it .. though i regret losing the contents.. but not the purpose :D)

.. Neways.. am here again .. am a Blogger nw B-) ...and before i go ahead with this, thinking bout WHY i chose to start a blog.. though i had a doubt (maybe not just one :P ), if it could be of no use.. or if it might go unnoticed.. or might be looked down or a waste of time.. or hmm watever it might turn out to be one day :P ... now am like.. "I seriously donot give a damn bout it " :D... and yes.. It feels good to sound haughty :P .
Now while typing this out.. i feel like am talking to someone...who seems like a PERFECT LISTENER whom i've always wanted.. like someone is listening to me.. to me when i speak my heart out.. so i decide and am satisfied that this would be the purpose of it.. So be it :P. Am gonna scribble, blabber, write sensible things, write nonsense :P , Its gonna be my birth right :D and its the damn fate of U [ whomsoever reading it , if at all.. :P ] be happy if u like it.. enjoy if you can.. appreciate me if u wanna.. argue wimme too.. i mite love it :) .. comments are welcome.. :D i wil consider bout replying or not :) This is gonna be my pastime.. am gonna write my experiences.. bout how i feel bout things.. and whatsoever be it ... :D

At times .. [make it many times :P ] . .ive always wanted to tell things to someone.. Be it a Happy news or a sad one.. would feel like tellin it at once to someone.. or atleast send the news .. an sms to someone.. or call up someone.. but i would have rather ended up forgetting the very idea of it.. :P though i had the phonebook fulla contacts.. wouldn knw whom to share things with.. and so would have diverted myself with some thing or the other .. :( henceforth all such things might go into this blog :) Thats bout it.. am bored already to write more to this post.. afterall am jus starting with it.. :D